Understanding Life Backwards

Chronicle of Lessons Learned

It’s been one year since I retired from public service- August 11 precisely and the past few months have put my resilience to test. Looking back, I would say that I have had time to review my priorities, highlight things of importance, become more adaptable, embrace change, overcome disillusionments, discover purpose anew while learning a couple of lessons in the process:

1.     I met a junior colleague at the staff clinic a few weeks after retirement and it was difficult for her to subscribe to the essence of my retirement. As far as she was concerned, length of service notwithstanding, there should be a leeway for those who can still function actively in the public service. She couldn’t understand why it cannot be the same as what obtains in other climes where retirement age is longer and potential retirees have the option of deciding whether to leave or not.

Lesson learnt:

Being in a system might not deny you of having a personal perspective, however, you will be guided by what is generally accepted as the rule.

2.     An old colleague had reached out to me to assist him with the processing for his annual retired staff numeration. He was on a trip abroad and I have assisted a couple of other retirees in that regard. So, it was not a trouble, and I was therefore amazed when he came with a gift- we were colleagues and the least I could do in that circumstance was what I did. Fast forward to September 2022, I understood what my simple intervention meant as I traversed back and forth while consolidating my profile as a retiree. I realised how difficult it could be to process an information and you appreciate what a kind intervention could mean when you are outside the service.

Lesson learnt:

It takes experience to be experienced.

3.     I decided to register a business name in October 2022; it wasn’t my first though previous registrations were conducted through some agents. I was encouraged to go DIY; what with all the orders and intervention in support of ease of doing business? I logged on to the portal and provided necessary information and documents. The process seemed seamless, and I got approval for a name without much stress. I fulfilled the payment for registration as prompted and moved on to register the approved business name. I got stuck at the point of describing the nature of business, I began to question my DIY proficiency and contacted Customer Service for assistance. The probe that followed and further enquiries jolted me to reality- for whatever reasons, the nature of business description could not be taken at face value and the system had prompted me to pay a bogus registration fee which resulted in another application to get a refund.

Lesson learnt:

Be wary of obscure gateways that are better navigated by paid agents.

4.     I have been meticulous to check the fine prints in contract documents, like insurance, and expected invitations to events to be explicit about their nature and requirements. That was until my request for Practice Licence got approved and we were invited to an event for its collection. I became curious when I saw other recipients on customised tie/scarf and my quick enquiry revealed that I had missed a vital detail on the invite. How? The message was somewhere I had reserved for RSVP in my subconscious, and since it wasn’t an event I could excuse, I technically ignore that portion of the mail.

Lesson learnt:

Every information can be pertinent; the main points are usually in the fine prints.

5.     We had started compiling writeups for the 2023 edition of the devotional for youth and teenagers, D24YT from January 2022, however, I had to step the process down for other engagements and preparations, with the believe that it would be on the front burner after August 2022. Though, I tried to push it thereafter, it became very difficult to cope with the requirements and I needed to back down when I realised that the task was putting so much strain on my mental health.

Lesson learnt:

Weakness or strength might be relative- Recognising your limitation and taking steps to prevent an emergency is great strength.  

6.     It took me a while to process my update in view of my last-minute promotion. The process was nothing but stressful as I pushed my requests by emails and phone calls. However, by the time everything was done, and I saw the results, I realised that it was worth the effort.

Lesson learnt:

The difference between OLD and OLDER is more than ER.

7.     Did I mention that I now hold a gym membership? Yes, I have been active, taking like 90 minutes’ walk every other day, however, that wasn’t helping my flexibility and the strains on my knees anytime I attempted to squat was becoming real. I opted for a monthly subscription and the reminder about the prepayment kept me regular. I conveniently go through any activity that does not call my knees to question and tried to cajole the coach to exempt me from belle workout and squats. However, he wasn’t moved but ensured that I exercised every part of my body. This discomfort was real, but I started getting comfortable with being uncomfortable when an elderly woman was brought to the gym for therapeutic purposes. My disposition changed immediately when I observed that she has come for post-stroke rehabilitation.  

Lesson learnt:

Know pain; know gain, no pain; no gain.

8.     I never considered a friend’s assertion about Google Maps seriously until the day it took us through an abandoned bush path on our way to Imota, Ikorodu, Lagos State. I had gone to collect a document at Ilishan and needed to get an update from Imota, Ikorodu, Lagos State. We set our destination on the Map and followed its direction religiously. At some point, I pointed out that the route it was directing us to seemed deserted and we asked passersby for advice. However, we considered their advice inconsequential and assumed that Google could not be wrong. We had a rethink after the car got stuck in the middle of nowhere and the suffering we went through before we could complete our journey is a story for another day.

Lessons learnt:

Technology is good but never disregard instincts and be open to superior guidance. 

Resilience speaks to adaptation, and this hinges on self-awareness, balance, and self-control. It is about acknowledging your current state and picking necessary guidance (lessons) as you keep on growing and evolving. The necessary ingredients for resilience can be seen from Ken Ginsburg’s 7 Cs of resilience- confidence, competence, connection, character, contribution, coping and control- and we can raise our bars as we enjoy the freedom to explore, learn, and make a difference in our own unique ways

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